99.46 mi / 8:56:07 time / 11.1 mph avg. / 36.5 mph max. / 4221 ft. climbing
Staying at Grizzly Creek National Forest Campground

Neil’s Tour Day 10: An Epic Struggle in Two Acts

ACT I: 75 miles of riding WNW from Badlands National Park to Rapid City

Scene 1
[Setting – Neil is seen amidst the Badlands shortly after sunrise, riding into a stiff headwind]

Neil: “Man, can you believe this wind? This is ridiculous!”
Prairie Dogs: “Squeak! Squeak!”
End Scene

Scene 2
[Setting – Decrepit gas station/store in Scenic, SD (reported population: 37, apparent population: 1) Foreign woman enters to speak to the last surviving member of the town, who is of a similar age as the town and falling apart just as badly]

Foreign Woman: “Fouala?”
Old Man: “Food?”
Foreign Woman: “Fowual?”
Old Man: “WHAT?”
Foreign Woman: “Fuwol?”
Old Man: “Fuel! Pump 3.”
Foreign Woman: “???”
Old Man: “THREE!” [Foreign Woman exits]
Neil: “This will be all”
Old Man: [slowly inspects food items with a magnifying glass, including Little Debbie Cherry Pie, Little Debbie Star Crunch, and Orange Powerade. Pushes buttons on cash register and points to total: $3.22]
End Scene

Scene 3
[Setting – Neil is seen crouched over the handlebars riding through the empty hills of South Dakota. The wind is even stronger than before; occasionally an old woman clinging to an umbrella will be seen flying through the air]

Neil: “Man, can you believe this wind? This is ridiculous!”
Longhorn Steer [staring at Neil]: “………….”
End Scene

INTERMISSION (serve McDonald’s Double Cheeseburgers in the lobby)

ACT II: 20 miles SSW and 1800 ft. up from Rapid City towards Mount Rushmore

Scene 1
[Setting – Neil is seen climbing a 6% hill out of Rapid City, moving along at a brisk 6.5mph]

Neil: “Man, can you believe this hill? This is ridiculous!”
Pine Trees: “……….don’t we smell nice?”
End Scene

Scene 2
[Setting – Neil is seen flying down a 5% hill towards Keystone]

Neil: “Can you believe that the northwest wind that was such a pain during Act I didn’t change direction, so it’s now a big help during Act II?”
Neil: “Yeah, that was pretty cool, and it made these 20 miles seem like nothing compared to the first 75”.
Neil: “Hmm, do you think you should really be talking to yourself, and referencing you own play within the dialogue?”
Neil: “Why not? You weren’t particularly concerned about the trees talking to you in the last scene”.
End Scene

Scene 3
[Setting – A helicopter shot (hopefully we can get the budget for this!) flying within feet of Lincoln’s 10-foot tall bouffant on Mount Rushmore, then swooping down the mountain and over the forest until it gets low enough to see Neil sitting at a picnic table in a beautiful campground, surrounded by tall pine trees and rocky cliffs, and typing on his laptop computer]
Computer: “clickclickclickclickclick”
Some Animal: “sqauw!………….squaw!”
Grizzly creek: “gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle”
End Scene

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